


Smol Commanders

by Bam4Me



Series: De-aging [7]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Autistic John, Baby Sign, But platonic tho, Caregiver Ronon, De-Aged John, Evan Speaks Sign and so does John, Future Ageplay, Future Non-Sexual Age Play, Gen, John doesnt like being touched but he'll allow it and touch people if he feels like it, Kind of cause its not really his thumb, M/M, Non-Verbal John, Pacifiers, Sign Language, Toddler John, future kink, he'll allow it but only if he deems you worthy, he's like a cat like that, pull ups, thumb sucking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-09 04:45:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7787305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a messed up ritual on a boring planet, everyone feels like maybe they shouldn't have gotten out of bed that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, it DOES say that John could change back himself if he would RELAX about it and calm down for a second, but I think that's a difference in cultures. The people on the planet don't realize that it's actually cause John himself finds the idea of being reduced to that of a child, humiliating, because that's how we as a culture view it, as a humiliating experience. People who need round the clock care are shamed for it, and adults who need to rely on people are humiliated and told they're useless.
> 
> This is about John learning that he's not useless like this, and there's nothing wrong with going back to childhood.
> 
> This is probably gonna be a good 3-6 chapters, I'm putting down three for now, and the ageplay does not come in till the sequel, which you'll be able to find in the series I put this in.
> 
> In other news, I actually have ANOTHER fic for John/Ronon ageplay coming up, but it's set up FAIRLY differently than this one is.
> 
> gatersgonewild.tumblr.com

It had seemed like any other ritual situation, and they’ve all been in plenty of them to be perfectly honest. 

 

They all remember some fucking  _ weird _ planets. Hell, they all still remember that one planet where everyone was insistent that Teyla was their owner, or the other planet where they had all decided John was a cat in disguise because his eye colour was too familiar to that of a cat.

 

Actually… now that Rodney thinks about it, planets all seem to have one thing in common, is that they all seem to think that John looks best on his knees. But, he’s decided not to think about that at all, after their third ritual wedding ceremony.

 

Luckily, the Atlantis base has a form to fill out for that, declaring them  _ not _ legally married after each one. 

 

Teyla stopped thinking about that sort of thing the first time she was required to put a collar around his neck and lead him on a leash. Luckily, their friendship could survive some awkward roleplay. Very lucky.

 

Ronon had never actually stopped looking at John like he wanted to… well, there’s not much he  _ doesn’t _ want to do to him, but John got this nervous look on his face when people’s gaze lingered, and an even more scared look when anyone but a teammate was touching. Ronon didn’t like that look. If he’s volunteered one too many times to take part of any ritual that might involve touching him, it’s not because he still feels the need to touch him, it’s because they all knew John would rather it be them, than anyone else.

 

Which is why this is such a normal thing to them, their only actual concern for John as he’d been lead off by temple workers, was for the nervousness on his face when one of the woman’s hands strayed too long on his side, giving him that kicked puppy look that made them want to form a circle around him and not let him out. John didn’t like being touched, it was a fact. He could  _ stand _ it if it was one of them, but anyone else and he became a nervous wreck, trying to scoot away from strangers and looking upset.

 

But, they’d politely asked him to participate, and John, being the person he was, had agreed. Well, that, and knowing that Rodney wanted to check out the temple later, and couldn’t do that unless they were on their good side. That had helped.

 

Which is why they’d all been surprised when someone had come storming out of the temple with a child who sounded like he was trying to burst glass with his little, high pitched screams, and promptly shoved the small child into Ronon’s arms.

 

The child looked around for a few seconds at his new location, saw Ronon’s face, and let out a few sniffles, but didn’t go back into his horrible screaming mood again.

 

“What, the fuck?”

 

The temple worker looked elated at the halt of his screaming too, smiling brightly at them. She pointed at the toddler -cause that’s what he was, he looked like he was barely two- and motioned to the rest of them. “Good, right, that’s yours.”

 

Ronon gave her an incredulous look. “Excuse me?”

 

She nodded, “Well, yeah, that’s your friend. He was too distraught to continue the purification process, we decided to bring you all in to help him.”

 

Which is why they all now found themselves sitting in a room that looked half like it was built for babies, and half like it was built for ancients. The  _ purification _ room, they had called it.

 

Rodney and Teyla were trying their level best to get John -because that’s who he was, this tiny little boy is John- to listen to them so he could finish the process and return to adult form. It was, by far, not working.

 

They had no idea how John had even gotten this small, but every time they asked the temple workers, they just started apologizing again, saying that John was ‘too upset to continue’ and ‘would never find peace in himself if he did not learn to accept this part of himself’.

 

They were so fucking done right now.

 

“Come on, John, do you not wish to return to adult form.”

 

The toddler gave the woman a glare that adult John would have never done. John as an adult would  _ never _ glare at someone so harshly that he called friend, he was too terrified of them holding it against him and deciding they didn’t like him anymore.

 

Ronon had the oddest feeling, that whatever Adult John would never do, this little version wasn’t going to be holding back on.

 

The little boy let out an angry huff, getting up off the ground -with some difficulty, and Ronon had to help him a little. He didn’t seem like the most steady toddler, but Ronon was pretty sure he’d be sturdy enough to take some falls- and his little bare feet were so much louder than his adult self’s ever managed to be, as he stomped away on the tile floors, looking righteously pissed. 

 

The rest of the team honestly could not tell you why he was so pissed, but whenever they mentioned turning him back, he got so  _ angry _ , and  _ upset _ . It’s like he could probably turn back if he wanted, but he didn’t.

 

At least, they didn’t  _ think _ he wanted to. They could be reading this wrong.

 

“When’s Carson going to get here? Maybe he can fix this?”

 

“He should be here at any moment.”

 

Rodney nodded, sitting down next to the toddler with both legs crossed. “You know, if you turn back into an adult, we’ll stop bothering you.”

 

The little boy didn’t pay him any mind, but started toddling back to where he’d come from earlier, making it clear that he didn’t give a fuck what Rodney was saying. Nice. Such manners. At least Adult John could give them grunting noises and such when he didn’t feel up to actually talking to them, this one seems to have lost his voice entirely when it comes to anything but screaming.

 

He didn’t stop at where he’d been playing with the overly soft baby blocks before though, he didn’t stop till he was at the edge of Ronon’s legs, and then, started climbing up into his lap, without even asking permission.

 

He may be John, and he definitely was, he knew who they were, and had only calmed down when in their presence, but he was a child through and through. That’s where he stayed, content to stay with the quietest member of their team until Carson got there to poke and prod at him till he hated everyone all over again.

 

This was going to be fun.

 

***

 

As it turns out, John doesn’t hate Carson nearly as much as they thought he would.

 

This might have something to do with the fact that Carson was probably the most understanding person in the entire Atlantis crew who knew of John’s issues with people touching him, and showed extreme caution when checking him over after most missions.

 

Carson couldn’t figure out how to turn him back, and after seeing the process himself of how to ‘purify’, he seems inclined to agree that John wasn’t going to turn back until he’s ‘accepted this part of him’ whatever that means.

 

“He doesn’t seem upset about being like this, he’s more upset that we’re trying to change him than anything.”

 

Rodney couldn’t accept that answer, “But what does that  _ mean _ ?”

 

Carson stepped over to his side, talking low to him so as not to disturb John, who looked like he was about to fall asleep in Ronon’s arms, comfortably nestled into the crook of his shoulder. It was so completely different than the John who would start shaking when someone’s hand strayed too long on his person. If he was an adult right now, they guess he’d probably be having a panic attack right now.

 

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what that means either, Rodney, but I do know that from what I’ve seen, stress blocks the process from continuing. He cannot continue until he’s relaxed.”

 

Rodney felt like he wanted to yell, but he’s learned not to yell in front of John, and that’s a hard habit to break. Not that he wanted to, he wanted the tired angry toddler to go to sleep and stop trying to kill them with his eyes. “So, when he’s less stressed, we can bring him back and he’ll be turned into an adult again?”

 

Carson shook his head, “No, we won’t even have to do that much. The process is already finished, the reason they’re so upset, is because the ceremony they wanted to do with him, happens when he turns into an adult again. They’re upset because they’ve never made the mistake of doing this with someone who didn’t… resize, right away. They said as soon as he’s at peace again, he’ll turn back into an adult.”

 

Rodney raised an eyebrow, “So, we just need to get him to a stress free setting and he’ll come back to himself? Then let’s go, I’m tired of being here. Starving.”

 

Carson rolled his eyes but nodded, “Fine, we can leave as soon as he’s dressed. It’s a bit of a walk back, and I’m not sure if he should be in diapers or not, but we need to get him dressed.”

 

Ronon had coaxed the toddler out of his arms, letting Carson help him into a diaper and some clothes they’d been provided with and had him pressed back against his chest so he could fall asleep on the way back. He barely made it five minutes.

 

Rodney hoped he didn’t kill them all for changing him while he wasn’t in his right mind.

 

***

 

“Hey, would you quit that?”

 

Rodney had to gently guide John away from another console station, trying not to let the toddler get his ATA filled hands all over everything. They’ve already had one incident with him accidentally turning on three different items simply because he was too close to them, they didn’t want him to buttdial Earth as well.

 

John wasn’t too hard to steer away, but he did look up around for something as he followed Rodney down the hall. “Ronon?”

 

Rodney sighed. John seems to have become slightly attached to the gentle -sometimes- giant, having asked nothing but his name since they’d gotten back and Ronon needed to check into the infirmary for an infection. Ronon did not take well to people saying he couldn’t roam like he wanted to, but thankfully, he hadn’t made a fuss about it yet.

 

Rodney was trying to take him back to his own lab so they could do more tests. Normally, he would leave John with Carson for that, but he was slightly disturbed by the fact that the infirmary was  _ filled _ with people who had chest infections, and he’d be damned if he let a toddler get walking pneumonia on his watch.

 

He had enough equipment that he could isolate what changes had occurred in John’s body so far, Carson had his hands too full to stop him. Elizabeth had looked distinctly uncomfortable at him, like she wasn’t used to children.

 

That’s fine, Rodney has a niece, he knows how to keep them alive at least.

 

They passed Lorne in the hallway, who did a double take on them, stopping when he saw that, yes, Rodney McKay was with a small  _ child _ . “Oh, who’s this little one?”

 

He leaned down, one hand giving John a pat on the head, musing up his already messy hair. Rodney snorted. “John.”

 

Evan gave him an amused look, “Oh, has Sheppard met him yet?”

 

Rodney shook his head, looking entirely entertained. The toddler had grabbed a hold of Evan’s wrist, and was inspecting the hand that was the size of his face, with big eyes. Evan looked enamoured. Of course, John was cute enough to kill a person, and after the nap he’d had on the way over here, they’d found that he wasn’t an evil hellion like they’d originally thought he was. “No, this  _ is _ Sheppard.”

 

Evan looked floored at that, crouching down so he could look at him closer. John ignored the adult trying to study him, one little hand still clenched around as much of Evan’s wrist as he could fit -not much- and the other little hand came up so he could shove his thumb knuckle in his little mouth. “Oh my god, he is, it really is him, how did that happen?”

 

Evan knew from experience of sharing an office with the man, when he was tired or annoyed enough, he started biting his knuckles. Evan had always assumed it was a leftover from a thumb sucking habit as a child, but no, this had probably just been a habit he hadn’t kicked at all. Rodney didn’t see that half as much as Evan did though, and looked properly disgusted whenever he did it. He looked disgusted right now.

 

“John, that’s not clean, take that out.”

 

John didn’t, turning his little glare up at Rodney as if daring him to try. Rodney, who still remembered the screaming, and his ears had remembered the ringing for a while after, decided not to test fate, even though he would be trying to use a baby wipe on John’s hand right now if he had been an adult. He doesn’t like it when John gets sick because of that habit, and it was a very bad habit.

 

He let out a small sigh, turning back to Evan, who looked amused. “To be entirely honest, we’re not sure what happened. Some temple ritual that got interrupted. They said it’s a problem that will fix itself.”

 

Evan nodded, slowly getting back up from the floor. “Alright. Well, I hope everything turns out. I’ve got to…” He tried pulling away, and noticed John’s little fingers, clenching harder onto his wrist, like he didn’t want him to go… or more accurately, like he didn’t want his new toy -Evan’s hand- taken away. “...John I have to go.”

 

John looked between the two of them, confused and upset. Rodney could see the start of tears forming in his eyes, and he pulled in a big, shaky, breath, like he was gearing up for a fit. “B-b-but, but,  _ no _ !”

 

His little voice croaked on that last syllable, and Rodney felt a little bad for him. He sounded like he barely even knew how to get the words out, and he had the sudden memory of John having once told him that he hadn’t spoken till he was ten, that he always got his brother to speak for him most of the time.

 

Fuck, John might not know much about language right now, crying might be his only form of communication to tell people how upset he is. Now he feels like a dick for wishing he’d just shut up.

 

He knelt down next to the toddler and cooed, trying to pry his little fingers off of Evan, who looks like he’s trying not to freak out, and gently replaced Evan’s wrist with his own. “Hey, hey, don’t worry, John, it’s fine. You still have me, and we’re going to go back to my lab, and it’ll be fine.”

 

John pulled in a shaky breath again, and he calmed down a little bit at still having something to hold in his little hand. He took a few more breaths, looking sleepy, despite his previous nap. Rodney wonders if he should just find a place to bed him down for the as long as his little body needed it, since he was obviously tired, but wasn’t sure enough to go for it.

 

Fuck, maybe he does need some help, he knows nothing about children. Fuck.

 

***

 

Ronon felt like crap. He’s felt like crap for a week now, but Carson finally figured out he was sick when he had to sit under the scanner with John when they’d gotten back, and now he was being forced to rest. Fuck that.

 

He thinks that if John hadn’t gotten turned into a toddler today, Rodney and Teyla would have noticed something, he was a bit quiet, even for him, but he thinks that’s what got John so attached to him. He was quiet enough to not be threatening right now.

 

He rolled off the gurney with a groan. Fuck this place, he’s leaving.

 

“I’m not contagious, am I?”

 

Carson stopped, looking like he’s had way too many things to do today. That suits Ronon just fine, he always got away with more when people were busy. Carson looked around the crowded infirmary, and then let out a sad little sigh, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to deal with any patients who didn’t want to be in today, with how short staffed they were. “You’re not, but come with me, I’ve packed a bag for John. Don’t know how long the lad will be… well, a lad.”

 

Ronon sleepily -because the doctors had giving him something that was making his head swim a little right now- followed Carson back into his office, taking the large padded bag from him with a tired wave of his hands. He left the infirmary then, heading in the direction of the labs. He had a plan to drop off the bag with McKay, and steal his couch for the rest of the afternoon. He liked sleeping with people around.

 

He was a little dismayed when he got there, to find the couch already taken, by an equally sleepy looking boy, who was glaring at anyone who tried to get too close.

 

Radek was keeping his distance on the other side of the lab, happy to pretend the boy wasn’t there at all, and Dr. Kusanagi was there with a big grin on her face, holding something that looked like a tricorder from that space show John liked to watch on his downtime, and reading off numbers to McKay.

 

“Sasquatch, out. If John catches whatever you have right now, he’s not going to be strong enough to fight it off like you are.”

 

Ronon stayed in place. “Carson said I’m not contagious anymore.”

 

Rodney snorted, “Like I would trust that voodoo doctor. Fine, is that bag for John?”

 

John looked up at the mention of his name, looking away from the pretty scientist he’d been glaring at. He liked her, but he’d prefer to like her from a distance, please and thank you very much.

 

He looked up at the door and perked up for the first time in nearly two hours, making needy noises as he watched Ronon stand there.

 

“Ro-ronon.”

 

His voice was a little rough for disuse, and he knew that it would be for a while. He hadn’t talked the first time around at this age. Really, it was hard to do, and he’s not sure why little children are usually so talkative. He much prefers silence.

 

Ronon looked over at him with a tired look, but his eyes softened almost right away, and he came over to the couch, sitting down next to him with a sigh. “Hey, buddy.”

 

John didn’t make any move to cling to him like he had back on the other planet, which is much more his style to be honest, not clinging that is, but he seemed more than content to have his big buddy back with him.

 

Ronon gave Rodney the bag when he came over, and let him go through it. He assumed all the kids stuff would be Earth based, and he’s not sure how familiar that would be, but as long as John had what he’d need, it’s fine with him.

 

Miko moved to help unpack anything in the diaper bag that John might need right now while Rodney moved over to argue with Ronon about him killing them all with his germs.

 

It was going to be a long… however long John was a child… great.

 

***

 

When Teyla finally came to find them, Ronon was passed out on the couch, with a tiny Sheppard equally as conked on his chest. It was sweet really.

 

The scientists who had been there to see the absolute _ fit _ John had thrown when Rodney had tried to replace his little spit covered knuckles with a pacifier, did not agree that it was sweet in the slightest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone noticed I upped the chapter count? Yeah...

John’s first toy like this, was a bright blue ball. It came from Carson, like everything else that had been sent along with them had, and for the first time, they all wondered if the doctor was stockpiling children’s things in case of emergency, now that they had contact with Earth and knew they had the space for it. It’s not that big of a stretch.

 

John didn’t seem so upset about things. After actually getting some sleep, he was sweet as pie, and with a grin that could melt anyone -even Radek, the stingy bastard- but there were some differences.

 

Of course, now that he was awake enough to complain, John was  _ quite _ insistent that he knew how to use the potty himself, and hated them all for putting him in this horrible thing. He still needed a pull up, but luckily, the Atlantis bathrooms were not age discriminating.

 

Which is why Ronon and John now found themselves, in the hallway outside the gateroom -which was right next to John and Evan’s office- rolling a little blue ball between the two of them to entertain John while Ronon was still barred from actual physical exercise. 

 

Of course, the idea that they could actually stop him, was laughable, but the baby couldn’t keep up with him if he went on a run, even with his chest burning up like this, so he guessed that sitting down and playing quietly could suit them both fine right now.

 

When Evan came out of their office, and found the two of them playing on the floor, he stopped, deciding his work could wait a minute. It’s been so damn long since anyone in this city had been around children, he guesses that there was going to be a  _ lot _ of misplaced parental affection towards him.

 

He was not entirely innocent in this.

 

“Hey, kiddo.”

 

John startled, dropping the little ball, which bounced right over to Evan, who looked just as startled. His eyes softened, and he stopped the ball, rolling it back to the toddler with a small, “Sorry.”

 

John nodded a little, leaning down and picking up the ball with both of those little chubby hands. He straightened back up, holding the ball to his chest with one hand, and putting the other one to his chin, pulling it away in a familiar motion. Evan had a parent who couldn’t hear, he knew that one well enough.

 

“Thank you, sweetheart?”

 

John nodded, looking pleased at his non-verbal communication. “Ta.”

 

Evan grinned, about to stand up again when he caught sight of the silent confusion on Ronon’s face. “Ahh, it’s American Sign Language. I learned it from my parents, John learned when he entered the air force.”

 

“What’s it for? He keeps making funny signals at me all morning.”

 

Evan smiled fondly. “It’s for people who can’t, or hand a hard time hearing. It’s for communicating. What signals is he giving you?”

 

Ronon made a slightly awkward set of motions with his hands, that made him laugh. “That’s sweet, he’s saying thank you for playing with him. He says you’re fun.”

 

He turned to John, who gave him another ‘thank you’ and grinned again, standing up once more. “Alright boys, I gotta run some things past Woolsey, I’ll see you two later.”

 

John gave him a wave, universal communication for goodbye, and watched him go till he was out of sight. John always liked Evan, he was a great guy.

 

***

 

When they went in later that day to see Carson -because he was insistent that he at least give Ronon his medication if he didn’t want to stay in the infirmary with them- John had a few tears in his eyes, little lower lip wobbling as he tried to keep himself from breaking down to them.

 

This is ridiculous, he’s a forty year old man, reduced to a toddler, who couldn’t keep his tears back and was crying at literally anything.

 

Stupid emotions, he’s spent the majority of his life stomping those dumb things down, and now he’s reduced to messy tears because he fell over and bumped his fucking elbow.

 

Carson was more than sympathetic, -to him at least, not to Ronon, who was complaining about stupid adult stuffs that seemed boring right now- and gently coaxed him into showing the doctor his little, pink elbow. It didn’t even look like he’d hurt it at all, but Carson made sympathetic noises anyways, getting John to put the little thing up for him.

 

“Dry those eyes, lad, you’re perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about at all.”

 

John contorted a little so he could look at his little elbow too, not entirely sure about that. It was a big fall, and he’s not sure if he’s alright or not… but, Ronon hadn’t acted worried about it, quickly picking him up from the floor and settling him on his hip to ride the rest of the way here. But, it was a booboo. Weren’t you supposed to get bandage?

 

John hated bandages, they pulled and felt itchy.

 

“You know, what might help that heal faster,” That’s more like it, Carson, you gotta take this stuff seriously, “is a kiss. I know that kisses make everything heal faster.”

 

Okay, nevermind, Carson was clearly crazy. John gave him a pretty impressive pout, and it made the crazy doctor laugh. “Alright, I suppose you might know too much about yourself to let something so  _ undignified _ occur, but I really do think it’ll help. That’s my professional opinion.”

 

John’s big eyes narrowed at him, looking a little suspicious. He knew that his big self didn’t like being touched, which is probably why Carson was off his nut right now. He wasn’t stupid, they both knew that his body often craved what John was afraid to give it, and Carson had talked -at, not to- with him about it before, and while Carson would never push, John did know he was right, and he would relax so much more if he found someone he could relax around.

 

John looked between the doctor and his big friend, who was silent while he watched him, waiting for him to make any first moves. John held his little elbow up to him in question, making the man snort, amused. “You want me to do it? I’m not a doctor John, I won’t help much.”

 

John gave him a stubborn pout. He’s already let Ronon touch him a lot this past day, and he was really nice to him and never touched without John knowing he was there. It was really nice of him. John wanted him to kiss it better. He held up his arm more firmly, glaring at the laughing man till he leaned in and pressed the lightest kiss to the little bruise -which would most likely be healed in less than half an hour anyways.

 

John seemed satisfied with that, turning back to Carson -who looked like the cat who got the cream- and stuffed two little fingers into his mouth, making both men cringe. What? He’s  _ little _ , and little kids put things in their mouths. Get with the program.

 

Carson nodded, “Ahh, Rodney has mentioned that you don’t feel like using a pacifier. John, you really should be using it.”

 

John knew that, with his logical adult brain, but, even as an adult, he still sucked on his knuckles, and the idea of not having something comforting and familiar right now, was a little distressing. He gave them a sad look, not wanting to talk about it. He curled up against Ronon’s side, a few tears coming to his big eyes.

 

Carson looked like he’s just kicked a dog, he looked devastated, but he already had the pacifier out of the bag and in his hands, he had to at least try.

 

“Hey, John, I know this isn’t something you’re used to, but maybe you could try it, for me?”

 

John seemed to hesitate in reaching out to the proffered item, giving Ronon a nervous look, but the tears didn’t fall. His little hand closed around the back of the pacifier, the button of it pressed into his palm.

 

That felt like of nice. Something he could hold without dropping it. He sniffled, the tears in his eyes starting to dry up a little at the new sensation of something different, but not  _ bad _ .

 

He still wasn’t gonna put it in his mouth though. He looked up at Carson, still thinking about maybe possibly crying if things didn’t go his way right now, but Carson was giving him a curious look, like this wasn’t expected. That makes two of us, doc.

 

Carson pulled another pacifier out of the diaper bag -they came in a three pack- and held it out curiously to the baby, wondering if he’d take that one too. John thought about it for a minute, before extracting the spit covered fingers from his pouting mouth, letting the doctor give him the second one too.

 

Carson frowned when he still made no move to put any in his mouth, and grabbed the last one from the bag, hoping he would take the hint this time and try it for himself. John somehow managed to hold two of them in one hand this time, a tiny little smirk on his baby face, and Carson rolled his eyes. “You messing with me, lad?”

 

John shyly hid his little face in Ronon’s side, but nodded, making the doctor grin. He was too damn cute.

 

***

 

John Sheppard and Radek Zelenka got along like a house on fire. That is to say, they had a lot of common interests.

 

See, John liked golf. Radek liked joining him him in the pure pursuit of beating the crap out of balls with a metal stick.

 

John, like anyone else who knew him, liked complaining about Rodney. Radek could complain about Rodney until he was an angry little ball of hatred who is no longer speaking English in the slightest and it’s quite entertaining to watch.

 

They both like chess, and also, trying to team up against Rodney and defeat him. They did most of the time, but they had the feeling that Rodney was holding out on them, which is very annoying.

 

They also had a lot of common interests in the form of movies and games, which is nice.

 

Normally, whenever John came down to the lab and Rodney was busy, he’d go sit with Radek while he waited for him.

 

But… Radek didn’t like children…

 

John was left in the lab with Rodney for now, while Ronon went to go beat the crap out of some marines -even though Carson told him it was a bad idea- and normally, he’d take John with him for that, but John was decidedly…sweet, like this. Ronon’s not sure he’d like violence like he usually does.

 

John was trying to be a good boy, because Rodney said he was extra busy, and Teyla was trying to spend a quiet day with her husband and son right now, and John was… trying to entertain himself… and not be a bother.

 

He hid behind a desk, peering out at where Radek was typing at a computer, thinking that he should probably go back to his play ball and roll it around more. Miko was only in the other room, and she looked like she’d love to play with him for a little bit, but John knew that she had important work to do as well today, and didn’t wanna get yelled at for bothering her.

 

Radek looked at him out of the corner of his eyes and sighed, leaning down to see him better. “You can come talk to me if you want, John.”

 

John came out of his little hidey hole. He still had one pacifier in his right hand, but there was another clipped to his shirt, though he seemed more interested in sucking on the shield of it than the actual nub. He opened and closed the little fingers of his left hand in a semblance of a wave, and while Radek didn’t look  _ excited _ to see him, he wasn’t exactly upset.

 

John wasn’t sure he felt up to talking though. It was so damn hard to get the words out, it’s like his mouth couldn’t form them. He simply came over to stand next to Radek’s stool, his free hand coming up to hold onto the man’s pants while he stayed there.

 

He was more than content enough to stay like that till Ronon got back, -wheezing, because he wasn’t supposed to be exercising with a chest infection- and so he did.

 

***

 

John’s first bath while in this form… had been an  _ extremely  _ bad idea. Ronon had seen it coming a mile away, and had taken the reigns on that one, politely refusing Teyla when she offered to bath him, since she was used to bathing someone so small.

 

Ronon wasn’t exactly used to bathing a small person, but he knew of a better way.

 

He crouched down next to him when they got back to Ronon’s room -because John was too little to need anything from his own, and couldn’t stay by himself while this small- and held John in place with one hand on his little body. “Alright, I’ll be honest with you, you need a bath, John, that’s not up for negotiation. You have two options. One, you can let me bathe you in the tub, all I need to do is wash your hair and body, or two, you can take a shower with me. Your choice.”

 

John frowned, but luckily no tears came. They both knew that he was uncomfortable with too much contact, but one of the ideas did appeal to him on some level. “Shower.”

 

Of course, that involved seeing Ronon naked, which is literally the least of his worries right now. He’s seen the man naked before, he’s one of his teammates, and while John didn’t like the touching, he was firm on his stance that there was nothing wrong with a naked body.

 

Really, there wasn’t. He just didn’t want to touch one.

 

Which is why he found himself standing in the shower, newly cleaned -and Ronon was right, he’d been quick and efficient and hadn’t gotten any soap in his eyes or anything- and holding onto Ronon’s leg while he waited for the big guy to finish washing his dreads. Really, he’s always wondered how the man did it. It looked soft and spongy.

 

The Atlantis showers were nice. They had mind controlled water temperatures, and it looked like they were big enough for an orgy, and a lot of the showers had multiple shower heads in them. It was nice.

 

John’s was pretty small, but he’s starting to think that his room wasn’t designed for adults in mind. Oh well, it had a nice view, and that’s what he’d been looking for.

 

John resisted the urge to play with the water at the bottom of the shower. No matter the fact that he was in a toddler’s body, he wouldn’t stoop that low. Least, not if he could help it. He didn’t wanna do that.

 

He looked back up when he heard the shower turn off, and found Ronon getting ready to get out of it with him. He gathered John up in an overly large towel, that swamped his little body so nicely, it was amazing. “Soft.”

 

Ronon smiled at him setting him on the counter for a moment so he could scrub most of the water off of himself, and then tuck the towel around his waist. “Alright, it’s time for someone to get ready for bed now.”

 

John let out a little squawk, sounding entirely offended at the idea of going to bed right now, but let himself be picked up and rubbed dry… hey, that actually felt pretty good. The towel seemed to add a nice level of padding between the two of them so he wasn’t all squirmy and upset at being touched. It was so different from his norm, that he was distracted enough to let the giant set him down on the bed -which, they were apparently, sharing- and get out the diaper bag to pull out more clothes. 

 

If this went on much longer, they were going to have to ask for more clothes from Carson, or at least get what they already had washed.

 

He didn’t protest to Ronon getting him into a new pull up and a soft baby sleeper. It was nice, and made him feel warm and soft all over.

 

Damn, babies have awesome clothes, normally John was itching as soon as he put something new on. Maybe he should get clothes that didn’t make him feel like that.

 

When John fussed a little at him getting up -he really was exhausted, even if he insisted that he wasn’t- Ronon reached over and grabbed one of his tiny feet, pulling it up towards John’s head. He’d seen his mother do it with children his age as a distraction more than once, though it was usually younger babies that got distracted so easily. It worked for a lot of them though. “Hey, look at that, John, I don’t think your adult body could do that so easily.”

 

John sniffled a little, taking his little foot in hand, looking utterly distracted despite his tired expression. He was right, his adult body  _ couldn’t _ do that. It was pretty cool. There seem to be a lot of perks to this tiny body.

 

It was pretty awesome.

 

Well, except for how tired he was right now. It was hard to keep his eyes open. He fussed a little, letting go of the sleeper covered feet so he could bring his little fists up to rub at his eyes, suddenly wishing he had his new pacifier back so he could suck on that. He knew Ronon and Carson -and, it seemed, everyone else on the base except Evan who was awesome- didn’t want him sucking on his fingers, and he didn’t want to get scolded right now. He doesn’t think he could handle getting scolded right now, he’d probably cry.

 

He opened up his eyes again when he felt himself being picked up, and suddenly, as if Ronon could reach his mind, the nub of the pacifier was pressed against his lips, and he opened up to let it in, sucking a little fast at it to try and calm himself down.

 

Maybe he was a little bit tired.

 

When John was finally passed out in his arms, Ronon sighed, stacking some pillows up on either side of him after setting him down on the bed, going back to getting himself ready to go to sleep too. He was exhausted as well, but he’s pretty sure that’s because of being sick. No way would taking care of a baby wear him down.

 

He thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the chapter number again...
> 
> Also, start leaving comments on what y'all wanna see. Believe it or not, I'm actually trying to write out as much of this as I can. It's gonna be great.

John Sheppard as a toddler, might honestly be at the top of Rodney’s mental lists for, ‘weirdest thing to happen since they got to Pegasus,’ ‘tiniest thing Rodney’s ever been near that wasn’t an animal,’ and ‘cutest child in existence.’

 

And right now Rodney is pretty sure that if he doesn't stop being so cute, Rodney is going to blow a fuse. “Why is he in his pajamas? It's far past time to get dressed.”

 

Ronon shrugged. “We had to go to Carson for more clothes, but every time we tried to put him in something with a waist band, he started whimpering. Carson is a pushover.”

 

Rodney snorted. “Sounds like you're a pushover too.”

 

Ronon shook his head. “No, I just don't want to force him into anything he finds uncomfortable.”

 

And they were right, John was still wearing his pajamas, which were dark blue with stars and moons on them. He looked adorable. He stopped next to Rodney's stool, one little hand coming up to hold onto his friends pants leg. John knew it made him look babyish, and felt his cheeks heat up a little, cause he didn't  _ want _ to look like a baby, but he couldn't help the cubish noise that left his mouth when Rodney leaned down so he could run his fingers through John’s thinner, but somehow messier than usual hair. It was still straight, but with a slight wave to it that made him constantly look like he just woke up. John sometimes liked having his hair played with, but it was usually Teyla, who would pull him down next to her on the couch and start tugging on it.

 

John curled against him this time, quite happy for the brief act of affection, giving Ronon leave to go bother someone else for the moment. He quite liked Ronon taking care of him and all, but John still a little sore about that morning when Carson had tried to get him to wear something that  _ wasn’t _ a soft sleeper, cause these things were freaking amazing. Seriously, he thinks he should buy a ton of them for when he’s an adult again, they’re awesome. Why can’t all adults all dress like this though? He thinks it’s a good idea.

 

“He’s taken to the pacifier, finally. Think I can get him to use it while adult? Sucking your thumb is a horrible habit.”

 

Ronon snorted, “Maybe, if you want him to try and kill you.”

 

John decided not to tell them, but he rather agrees with Rodney. He doesn’t know why he hasn’t thought of getting one of these before, it’s awesome, and it feels nice in his mouth, and didn’t have that funny taste that hands have when you’ve recently touched something gross, which is nice, cause he doesn’t think he’ll have to get up while he’s sleepy to wash his hands before sucking on them.

 

Why aren’t adults supposed to have these, again? John can’t seem to remember why.

 

But, he does remember enough that the idea of telling Rodney and Ronon what he thinks about it, seems a little embarrassing. He’s been reduced to a two year old, that doesn’t mean he’s stupid, though.

 

He tugged on Rodney’s pants leg a little, trying to get his friend’s attention again. He remembers something important that he needs to show him. Rodney must not have felt that though, so he tugs on it again, till the man looked down at him with curiosity written plain on his face. “Yes, small nuisance?”

 

...John’s pretty sure he knows what that word means… and it’s not all that polite… but he can’t figure it out. He gives Rodney his best scowl, hoping to impress upon him that he doesn’t appreciate him saying confusing and rude things. When Rodney looks properly scolded -not really though, he’s still pretty amused- John holds both little arms up, making the genius frown. “You want me to pick you up?”

 

John nodded once. He didn’t exactly like it, but he knew that if he sat on the ground in here, someone might step on him cause he’s so little. Everything is giant, and he feels a little nervous being at a bug’s eye view of the world. It’s why he keeps asking Ronon to hold him. Everything was normal sized up there… sorta. Ronon’s a bit bigger than he used to be.

 

He didn’t really like the idea of getting cuddly with Rodney, but he needed up there to show Rodney his awesome new trick. He thinks that Rodney will appreciate it a lot, since Rodney is smart, and would see how awesome it is.

 

Rodney got off the stool and leaned down a little, careful hands going around his little body -because Rodney had big hands, and this was a little nerve wrecking; John sucked harder on his pacifier in response. It wasn’t uncomfortable exactly, but he still wasn’t all that comfortable with getting close and personal with others like this.

 

Ronon doesn’t count. He’s already  _ been _ up close and personal with him, and Carson too, so they don’t count. He looked over Rodney’s shoulder when he was up high enough, making sure that Ronon was still in the room, getting a little tearful at the idea that he might not be anymore.

 

When he saw his current guardian standing there, giving him a curious look like he might come intervene if John started crying, he let himself relax a little, no longer sucking so hard on the soother. Rodney set him down on the desk, keeping both hands on his waist, but knowing fully well that John might start crying if he put him in his lap instead. John didn’t fuss at the new spot though, relaxing on the giant desk with a little sigh behind his pacifier.

 

When John was on the table and settled down, he gave his friend a look, wondering what Rodney was thinking about all this. For once, Rodney was giving something other than his work, his full attention. It was kind of cool that it was John he was giving his full attention to, cause that felt kind of awesome.

 

Ronon was suddenly there, though, standing off to the side of the table with a hand behind John’s little body, letting the other man let go of him without fear of him falling. Rodney did so, sitting back on his stool, still giving him a wondering look. He had on his, ‘I’m a scientist and I’m going to study this’ eyes, which made John bristle a little inside, but he’s not sure why. Maybe his adult brain didn’t like that, but right now, leaning back against Ronon’s stomach, it feels awesome to have Rodney’s full attention at the moment.

 

Actually… he thinks he’s a little shy, cause he turns a little, hiding most of his face in his giant friend’s stomach, looking back at Rodney with big eyes. Rodney gave him a little smile, thinking about how he didn’t think John could get any cuter, but here he is.

 

Ronon stayed there, quiet behind him, keeping him steady and not touching any more than he had to.

 

John would have thought that with the way Ronon’s chest wasn’t rattling around anymore -cause John had woken up on the man’s chest that morning, and he could feel that his breathing was nice and even today, no more rattling, and he even sounded better- that his big friend would have dropped him off with Carson or Rodney and gone on a run that morning, but the man had taken John with him after leaving the infirmary that morning -after Carson had cleared him for exercise even- and stuck to the toddler’s side.

 

It was curious, and John appreciated it more than he could say at the current moment, and he left a little weird about it, and thinking about it made tears come up into his eyes and he’s not sure why, but it was nice and John really loved the big guy for it.

 

John flopped back against him a little, settling back so he could watch Rodney work a little when the man finally went back to his typing. John’s own attention span was the size of a gnat’s right now though, and he found himself wandering after a minute without Rodney to distract him. It didn’t take much longer than that before he remembered why he wanted up here in the first place.

 

He reached up a hand to fiddle with the back of his soother, moving it around in his mouth a little before popping it back out, letting out a little noise that got Rodney’s attention again, and deciding to make an attempt at words again when Rodney still looked confused.

 

He didn’t know why the stupid words were so stinking hard to get out, it’s horrible, and he hates it. Why can’t he just talk like a normal person. He’s met  _ tons _ of toddlers his age who could speak already, even Torren, who was older than John’s body was right now, he could speak in short sentences with no issues at all.

 

Of course, he hadn’t spoken the first time around either…

 

“S-s _ ee _ .” He let out a little frustrated noise when that was pretty much as good as he could get out, letting out a frustrated whine when Rodney didn’t seem to get it. 

 

Ronon gave him a ‘fix this before I kick your ass’ look, and Rodney looked a little panicked when he realized the baby was about to start crying though, and made a desperate attempt to understand.

 

“See? Do you want me to see something, John?”

 

John let out a little, wet sniffle, leaning into Ronon’s hand that gave a soothing tug at his soft hair, and stuffed the pacifier back in his mouth, already deciding that he wasn’t going to attempt any more words today. He wriggled down a little, and put his little legs up, holding one in either of his little hands, and looked over at Rodney again.

 

He thought it was pretty freaking cool that he could do this. He’s never been all that flexible before, and this is cool. Ronon seems content to use this to his advantage as often as possible, having already used this once that morning to distract him while talking with Carson when John had started getting fussy.

 

Rodney tried not to be charmed. He tried to look like he wasn’t entirely, completely, so so very enamoured, by this small human being that was his best friend. And he  _ was _ his best friend. There was no doubt in his mind that this was John Sheppard, his friend, who hated being touched unless he approved it first, who always went to him when he found a new amazing thing to do, and had the messiest hair in the world.

 

This was John, on a more innocent level, still has the attention span of a gnat, but he’s so sweet. He seems to change emotions at the drop of a dime, and Rodney’s pretty sure he’s had to stop him from crying at least three times alone since he’s gotten to Rodney’s lab, but he was John Sheppard, through and through.

 

And he was  _ proud _ of being able to hold his little feet, like it was the most amazing thing in the world.

 

“ _ Very _ impressive, Sheppard.” He tried to let it come out as sarcasm, he tried so so hard, but it fell a little short, a fact well known, when John went a little red, trying to  _ hide _ behind his little feet now, looking so damn sweet and amazing and Rodney suddenly wished that John was okay with being touched, because he feels the need to pull that little boy close and cuddle him till he’s giggling and happy, because he was too damn sweet.

 

Rodney sighed, leaning against his hand on the table so he could watch the blushing boy now, thinking that maybe, children were a little cuter when they’re the ones  _ you _ love.

 

***

 

Torren was nearly two now, which is why Teyla had the  _ brilliant _ idea that he and John might enjoy playing with each other. Why on Earth she got this idea, John had no idea, because as far as he could tell, Torren was a  _ real baby _ who had baby thoughts and feelings.

 

He wasn’t like that, was he?

 

He kicked a little in Ronon’s hold, getting the big guy to set him down on the ground, and cautiously started inspecting the baby sitting on the carpet in Teyla’s quarters. They had a much bigger family quarter than John or Ronon did, and John could see some toys scattered around. Torren was playing with some blocks, completely ignoring him. He turned and gave Teyla and Ronon a funny look. They were talking on the couch together, and John had the feeling that he was being told to go, ‘run and play now’ without being given a choice in the matter.

 

He huffed, sitting down across from Torren, still a little full from lunch, and reached out to grab a different toy, ending up with one of those ‘stick the shape through the hole’ toys. This looked easy enough that he could listen in on their conversation while he looked like he was playing.

 

That is, till he found out that it was a  _ lot _ harder to get these stupid things into the hole than he thought it would be. It’s not just matching up the shapes of them, it’s making sure they’re in the right position, and that your hand is at the right angle, and he hates this, he really hates this.

 

It kept his attention for nearly half an hour though. By the end of the playdate, Teyla and Ronon were both calling it a success after managing to keep both boys entertained for nearly two hours.

 

When he left though, Teyla gently leaned his little head up and pressed her forehead against his, something that made his eyes crinkle in pleasure at the familiar gesture, and he gave a little happy hum as Ronon finally lead him away again, quite content now, thank you.

 

***

 

Rodney could get deep into his work. Like,  _ deep _ into his work. Like, ‘doesn’t notice a goblin sitting right next to him’ deep. Like, ‘doesn’t notice that someone told him he’s a asshat’ deep. Ronon and John are pretty sure he’s in that deep right now, focusing on nothing but his laptop and a notebook that was slowly filling up with things.

 

Which is why, Radek had said, with an amused smile on his face, that he’s pretty sure they could turn the room into a blanket fort around him, and he wouldn’t even notice it at all.

 

Which is why, Ronon found himself walking down the hallway with at least five blankets in his arms, next to John, who was small, but carrying his own blanket there with him, nearly swamped by the sheer size of it, and mostly dragging it to be honest.

 

It’s okay, they can put that one at the bottom of the pillow nest Ronon was planning on building. He may not have grown up on Earth, but he knows how to make a quality blanket fort.

 

To build your own shelter seems to be a quality that all species he’s met, have possessed. 

 

John paused in the hallway, crouching down to poke at some unseen thing on the floor, showing the curiosity and open mindedness of a small child. It was amazing to watch. Ronon followed him quietly on their way back to the lab though, allowing him the chance to roam and view things as he pleased.

 

As far as he’s concerned, as long as John turns back to his old self in the end, right now should be viewed as a chance to let him explore and do things at his own pace. The Earth military seemed to rigid and uncomfortable, if John could use this time to completely relax with someone else taking care of things for him, then Ronon was inclined to see this as a good thing.

 

For now, at least.

 

When they got back to the lab, there were an abundance of pillows in the room, and Teyla was sitting on the couch, quietly talking with Radek while they both watched Rodney work with his single minded focus.

 

Teyla had Torren in her lap, and Radek had an even bigger stack of blankets next to him than Ronon and John did.

 

It looked like it was going to be a team+ night, which is awesome. Well, sort of awesome, they seem to be missing one of their regulars that joined them when they had nights like this.

 

There were footsteps outside of the lab door, and another head poked it’s way in, and John let out a pleased little noise behind the shield of his soother, signing out a greeting to his favorite acting CO with as much enthusiasm as his excited little hands could handle. Evan stepped into the room with a grin, coming to crouch down next to the toddler and start a confusing conversation without words with the baby.

 

Ahh, that’s more like it. Now we got the whole gang here.

 

When Rodney finally came back to himself from his work, his watch said it was well past midnight and into the next day, and his lab seems to have grown a lot of fabric. He got up off the stool, trying not to knock anything over, and ducked under the blanket structure to see the rest of his team, curled up in the fort. Ronon was on the outer edge, with little baby John laying against his chest, and Teyla and Torren were in slightly similar positions in the middle of the blanket nest area they seem to have built.

 

Damn, he misses a lot.

 

He looked over to the other side of the fort, where Even Lorne and Radek Zelenka were both asleep, and… very, very close to each other.

 

Yeah, he misses a lot when he’s trying to work on things.

 

He let out a little sigh, and after a quick stop at the restrooms, found a place to lay down between Teyla and Radek, deciding that today has gone on long enough. Time to get some shut eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments on what you liked, and what you want to see in other chapters!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was the first day that Ronon had decided to attempt some time away from  John to make things a little more easy on him if they had to be separated.

 

They’d all woken up in the middle of a giant blanket fort, John still tucked up against his chest while everyone else but Teyla and Torren slept around them. Teyla and the other baby were already up, and on their way out the door when Ronon stopped them. John slept on while he got up, oblivious to the change in position while he snored into Ronon’s neck. Teyla looked at him with curiosity. “Is there something I can help you with?”

 

“Can you watch John later today? I think I might go back onto my exercise routine for the day to see how he handles being with someone else.”

 

Teyla nodded, and lead them out of the room, Ronon shouldered the diaper bag onto one side and left, one last glance towards the two scientists and the sleeping CO behind them. They had all migrated into an odd looking puppy pile, completely meshed into each other’s space. It was… interesting.

 

When the lab door slid closed again, Radek sat up in between the two others with a small jump, wondering why the hell he was sleeping in his lab… which was still covered in blankets, though some of them have fallen down from the fort they’d been in the night before.

 

Rodney, who had both around wrapped around his stomach like he was a freaking teddy bear, let out a low whine, making Radek frown at him. He wasn’t a morning person. He looked over at Evan, who was curled up against his other side, and reached out a hand to shove him, making him snort awake. “‘wa’sup?”

 

Radek frowned, “You have marines to order around.”

 

Evan made a little groaning noise, but started getting up, making Rodney complain more at his movement disturbing them. 

 

When Evan was off the floor, Radek started extracting himself from the clingy form that was Rodney, who, thankfully, stayed asleep. Rodney was no joy to deal with when he was tired.

 

Evan looked around the room for a moment, saw they were all alone in the room, and started turning a little red. It took Radek a moment to figure out why, but before he could do anything, Evan leaned in, pressed a short kiss to his cheek, and beat it out of the lab before Radek could say anything in reply.

 

Radek didn’t mind at all. Not the slightest bit.

 

***

 

Later on that morning, after they had taken down the fallen fort in their lab, Radek was trying to focus on his work while Rodney pouted at him from across the room. Radek sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t get any work done while Rodney was in a mood.

 

“What is wrong, Rodney?”

 

Rodney lifted his head off of his hand, scowling at him. “You and Evan.”

 

Radek sighed, wondering how a man who notices such  _ subtle _ hints at a relationship, can be so completely dense about himself. “You are jealous?”

 

Rodney, who was never one to lie about things like this, and blunt to the point of being harsh, nodded.

 

“Of whom?”

 

Rodney mumbled something that Radek didn’t quite catch, so he stared at the man till he repeated himself. “Both of you.”

 

Radek stood up from his own desk and walked over to where Rodney was sitting, invading his personal space with little thought. Rodney was giving him a surprised, wide eyed look. “You have no need for jealousy.”

 

When Rodney just blinked at him a little stupidly, Radek gave a little smirk and leaned in, sliding his lips against Rodney’s, making the other man breath in, startled. Rodney really was the most oblivious man on this base.

 

When Radek had the man pushed up against the side of his desk, they both heard the noise of their lab door sliding open, and Radek looked over to see Evan, standing there a little bit awkwardly, looking a little bit like he’d caught doing something they shouldn’t be… which, well…

 

Evan turned away from them both, blushing a little bit, “I uh, should go-”

 

Radek leaned against the table next to Rodney, looking amused, “Oh, I don’t think you should, Major.”

 

Rodney snorted, still a little dazed from the kiss, and wondered where his lab partner was going with this. He didn’t think he’d be disappointed, though. Evan raised an eyebrow at them. “I shouldn’t leave?”

 

Radek shook his head, slow, never breaking eye contact with the major. “No, I think you should come join us.”

 

Evan turned a little more red again, but nodded, stepping further into the lab to see them. “Alright.”

 

***

 

John was  _ not _ having a good day today. First, he’d woken up in a strange place; and that’s not even the worst of it, he’d wet himself while sleeping, and couldn’t stop crying because of it.

 

Stupid little person emotions, it was horrible enough that he’d peed himself, but now all he could think of was getting changed and cuddled by Ronon, because he knew that would make him feel better.

 

Which is where the second horrible thing comes into play. He’s not  _ with _ Ronon right now. He’s been  _ abandoned _ by his faithful giant, and left to the tender mercies of Teyla -not that he had an issue with Teyla, but she’s  _ not Ronon _ . She had given him sympathetic noises, and after helping him into a new clean pull up and getting him changed into a tee shirt and shorts -which is also horrible, cause these weren’t his comfy pajamas with soft footies and he hated them and wanted to burn them- she had left the sniffling little boy in the living room with some toys while she went to go make him something to eat, knowing that if she tried to cuddle him better, he would just start crying all over again from being touched.

 

John tried to self sooth, he really did, he had his pacifier, and he had a soft baby block that he was squeezing and playing with, but no matter what, he couldn’t help himself, this  _ wasn’t okay _ . .

 

Which is why he got up, sniffling one last time, and started towards the door while Teyla was still out of the room. If she didn’t want to help him find his missing guardian, he’d just have to find him himself. Being without him was  _ not _ an option right now.

 

He thought the door open stepped out into the hallway, determined to find Ronon.

 

***

 

When the door to Rodney’s lab opened up again, the three occupants seemed a little too… preoccupied, to notice it.

 

John absently wondered why the adults were all hugging each other and being all gross and slobbery with each other. He had the feeling that he  _ knew _ the answer to that question, but he couldn’t figure it out right now, and he was still crying a little cause he  _ still couldn’t find Ronon _ , and everything was ick.

 

He sucked a little harder on his soother, and went into the lab, going straight for the three men, who seemed more interested in each other than they did in anyone else, and tugged on Evan’s pants leg, making the man look down at him curiously.

 

When all three men were looking down at him, Rodney let out a horrified noise, and Evan looked immediately concerned, because there were big tears working down John’s face, and his little lip was wobbling below his soother, he looked seconds away from a breakdown.

 

The little boy gave a messy attempt at signing what was wrong at him, but Evan could only pick out a few words, and he knelt down next to the toddler, trying to sooth him. “Hey, buddy, what’s that? You can’t find Ronon?”

 

John let out a little sob behind his pacifier, nodding. His little hands came up, in a needy ‘pick me up’ gesture, and Evan wasted no time in scooping the crying boy up into his arms. “Alright alright, I’ve got you, no worries, you’re perfectly safe here. How about you and me go out and look for Ronon, alright?”

 

John let out another little sob, nodding before he buried his face in Evan’s neck, little body wracking with sobs now, unable to control his emotions now that someone was helping him. Evan stood back up, and looked over at Rodney and Radek, who both looked embarrassed at being caught making out like teenagers by a toddler, and sighed, rubbing the little boy’s back. “I’m going to get Ronon, and I really should go back to my work after that.”

 

They both nodded, and Evan beat a hasty retreat with the baby in his arms. Evan tried to bounce him soothingly as he walked, heart clenching at the sobs coming out. He wasn’t sure who was supposed to be watching John if Ronon wasn’t there, but he was pissed they had lost the baby.

 

“Hush hush, gentle boy, don’t worry, we’ll find your Ronon, no more fussing. Can you take some deep breaths for me? Please?”

 

John pulled his head out of Evan’s shoulder, trying to do as he asked, but just as soon as the sobs started dying down, his little body jerked in surprise. It did it again, and after a third time, Evan realized that he’d given himself the hiccups. He smiled down at the boy, gentle as he could, and reached up to tap the headset in his ear, determined to find Ronon and make John smile again.

 

***

 

“Have any of you seen Ronon? He seems to have lost his headset.”

 

Evan tried to juggle a cranky fussing baby in one arm without dropping him as he tried to go for his headset again to see if anyone’s seen Ronon, but John was  _ quite _ insistent on being as horrible as possible right now. John made an odd, high pitched noise, reaching for Evan’s other hand, though he hadn’t the slightest idea why, and Evan decided to give up for now. He doesn’t think the baby has ever been this fussy before.

 

He’s also never been without his main caregiver before.

 

Laura Cadmen came over to them, her hand on her own headset, before she pulled it down. “Ronon’s on the other side of the city right now, but he says he can meet us here in five minutes. Hey, John.”

 

John looked up at Laura with big tearful eyes, sucking on his soother a little harder as he frowned at her. A few more big tears slipped down his face, and he garbled something out behind his pacifier, though neither of them could tell what it was, but Evan would put money on a bet that it had something to do with how much he missed Ronon.

 

She gave him a gentle smile, and John just looked down, feeling so much sorrow in his heart.

 

Why did Ronon leave him? Was he a bad boy? Why did his chest hurt so damn much when the big guy wasn’t around? He felt like he had a hole in his chest, and it wasn’t okay, and he needed a cuddle, and everything was wrong.

 

Evan didn’t hold him right, and he wasn’t big enough, and really, John loves the guy, but this isn’t okay.

 

Laura was talking with Evan though, and she grabbed a bag behind her, pulling something out of it as she went. “I made this the other night. It didn’t take me long, I can do faster than this, but I figured, since he’s been so much smaller, so much  _ longer _ than everyone expected, he could probably use it.”

 

She tried holding the blanket out to John, as if in a peace offering, and John actually did perk up a little bit at that. It was a baby blanket, in white and Atlantis blue, with a grey and white trim. It was nice looking. He reached out for it with a little hand, almost cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure if that was really his.

 

She grinned at him though, so he took that as a good sign, before getting entirely distracted by how  _ soft _ it was. It’s so damn soft.

 

“Doesn’t it take a while to make all those granny squares?”

 

Laura shook her head, “Nah, I have five boxes of them in my room right now, I just had to put them all together. I crochet like a madman when my team has downtime. It was nice to finally make something useful with them.”

 

John seemed to distracted by the feel of the yarn to actually take the blanket from her, so Evan reached over to take it, letting the bulk of it sit in his free arm while John kept worrying away at it with little fingers, finally no longer crying.

 

Thank god for small miracles. 

 

They were still there when Ronon finally found them, and John’s reaction surprised absolutely no one, nearly screaming the man’s name as he tried to take a dive out of Evan’s arms. Luckily, Ronon was there to catch him, bringing the little toddler up till he could nuzzle into the boy’s neck as he started crying all over again.

 

That was too, too long, to go without his Ronon again.

 

***

 

John was an absolute terror for the rest of the morning, changing between clinging to Ronon like he was afraid the man would leave him, and acting like he couldn’t care less if he was there or not.

 

It was entirely, adorable.

 

“Well, he’s pissed at you for sure.”

 

Ronon grunted in the affirmative from his place on the couch. Rodney was attempting to entertain John by using him as a light switch for ancient objects, which did seem to lighten his mood a little, but he would look back at Ronon every once in a while, biting down on his soother nervously as he made sure the big guy wasn’t leaving him.

 

He reached up one little hand to rub at his eyes tiredly, and Ronon thought about trying to get him to nap before lunch today instead of after. He looked like he could use it.

 

“I think I have something that might make him stop glaring, but I doubt he’s going to let me leave the room without him any time soon.”

 

Rodney shook his head, “No he will not. Just take him with you.”

 

Ronon nodded, standing up from the couch and coming over to kneel next to John, who looked exhausted and grumpy and had a death grip on the edge of his new blanket. “John, come with me?”

 

John seemed to think that one over while fisting one eye, looking tired and upset, before reaching out to Ronon. Ronon picked him up, taking the blanket up with him. Chances of him letting go of his new favorite thing in Atlantis, were slim to none, hovering closer to none. Ronon swayed with him a little, rubbing at his back. “Right, well, we’ll be back in a few hours after he’s had a nap. You think the quartermaster will give me a bigger apartment if I ask? My place is starting to feel a little cramped, and John’s is even smaller.”

 

Rodney stood up with a grin, “I’ll talk to him about it later, but they’ll probably say yes. It’s kind of rude to force two people into a room that small.”

 

Ronon nodded, leaving the room with the clinging boy, deciding not to ask why Rodney seemed so excited today. It was probably best if he didn’t know. It was probably less scarring if he didn’t know.

 

***

 

John was grumpy and upset when they got back to Ronon’s room, still rubbing at his eyes in a bid to stay awake, and rather sore about having woken up alone that morning. Didn’t Ronon  _ know _ how much that had hurt him? Yeah, Teyla was an amazing person, and she was one of his best friends, but she wasn’t  _ Ronon _ , and that’s not okay.

 

He felt himself getting a little teary eyed as Ronon sat him down on the bed, helping him move around to wriggle out of his shorts, so he could sleep in his tee shirt and pull up. It was warm. 

 

Ronon looked down at the toddler and shifted a little on the bed. “I… I’m sorry that I left you. I didn’t realize that you wanted to be with me so much.”

 

John gave him a little pout, arms crossed. It was adorable, and he ended up with one little hand cupped around either elbow, it was so sweet. He spit out the soother, it falling down against his neck, held there with the pacifier strap but not much else. John’s little lip wobbled the littlest bit as he tried out a few words. “Didn’t, didn’t… bad.”

 

Ronon nodded, “I know, I’m so sorry. I won’t leave you again… I got you something.”

 

John gave him a curious look, and Ronon took that as a good sign to keep talking, not wanting John to go back to being upset with him again. He got up off the bed, and pulled something out of a bag next to the door.

 

When he came back, he had a soft, squishy stuffed puppy dog in one hand. It was a golden coloured thing, with long fur that made it look as soft as it probably felt. John scrambled to stick the soother back into his mouth, one little hand reaching out to touch.

 

Two new things in one day? This was pretty awesome.

 

When his fingers touched the soft puppy fur, he couldn’t help but marvel at how it really was that soft. He gave Ronon a questioning look though. The big guy shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. “Carson said that it’s an Earth animal you would recognize, and that you might like something soft.”

 

John smiled a little behind the soother. Carson was always trying to find ways to make him relax. Carson said he never met a military man so keyed up in his life. It was really nice of him, but they often hit roadblocks with how to help John out, like his nervousness about being touched.

 

Maybe, being a little kid was helping him with that, or maybe he’d go right back to flinching away from people when he grew up again, but for now, this was pretty awesome.

 

He leaned back, eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds, before they popped back open again, making fully sure that Ronon was still with him. Ronon was still there, and he lay down next to the toddler, not needing a nap himself, but laying one big hand on John’s little stomach, keeping it there so John would know he was still around.

 

That’s much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter is going to be; baby boot camp. Take a guess on what that means!

**Author's Note:**

> gatersgonewild.tumblr.com


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